• The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love.

• A French n a Brit gynecologists were chatting. French: Just last week there was this woman, her cliotris was like a melon.
Brit: That's a lie, she wouldn't be able to walk if it was.
French: You Brits always talk about size; I was talking about the taste.

• Condom to whisper: Bloody every month u stop my business for one week.
Whisper: If u make a mistake I lose my business for 9 months.

• A female Press Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slapped u?
Santa: On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed…

• Singboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

• A professor was asked to give a talk on Sex
When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..."
And he sat back down.

• Did you hear about the blind man who was walking down the street and as he passed the fish market he tipped his hat and said, "Good evening ladies.

• Q: What does PMS stand for?
A: Penis Must Suffer

• Dentist didnt get erection on wedding night so he used finger. Wife: What's this?
Nothing honey, just a temporary filling.

• I've invented a fly spray that doesn't kill flies; it makes them so sexually active, you can swat two at a time.